The Giraffe and the Jackal are used in Nonviolent Communication as metaphors for different ways of thinking and communicating. The Jackal represents thinking and communicating from a place of dominance and submission, while the Giraffe represents thinking and communicating from a place of compassion and self-awareness.
The philosophy behind the giraffe and the jackal
Nonviolent Communication requires a fundamental shift in our thinking and behavior. The systems in which we are raised encourage us to conform to various rules, norms, and values. This happens both implicitly and explicitly through the messages we receive in advertising and media, in our upbringing and education, and from the religious, political, and legal systems that surround us.
In themselves, there is nothing wrong with rules, norms, and values. They provide a sense of stability and make it possible for us to live and function together in large groups. At the same time, these systems seem so self-evident, ‘natural,’ and ‘normal‘ that it becomes difficult to distinguish between what these systems want to impose on us and what our personal needs are. In this context, Marshall Rosenberg speaks of ‘domination systems.’ These systems teach us to be obedient and to behave as responsible citizens, optimistic consumers, well-behaved children, and loyal employees. Those who play along ‘well’ are rewarded; those who do otherwise deserve to be punished. You can read about how this mechanism arises from a historical perspective in my blog post on the origin of domination systems based on the work of Yuval Noah Harari and others.
Domination systems are focused on the interests of those who hold power and wish to maintain it. The language and mindset these systems provide us with therefore tell us that some people are worth more than others, and that there are “normal” versus “abnormal” or “good” versus “bad” people. Through punishment and reward, guilt, shame, and the exercise of power, they ensure that we subordinate our own feelings and needs, or even lose sight of them entirely.
The language of the Giraffe and the Jackal
This also involves a way of thinking and a language that, in a sense, alienates us from life. Marshall Rosenberg speaks of ‘life-alienated language,’ or the language of the Jackal, which prevents us from connecting with our feelings and needs. Examples include:
- Judgmental and moralizing language (“They are just conspiracy theorists,” “You are being naughty”)
- Language that denies personal responsibility (“I had no choice,” “Rules are rules”)
- Language aimed at punishment and reward (“It is your fault,” “I deserve this”)
In contrast, there is the language of the Giraffe: life-enriching language (‘Life-connected language’). This language focuses on our feelings and needs. We attempt to empathize with others and hear the needs behind everyone’s words, even when they contain criticism or judgment. At the same time, we strive to remain connected to our own needs. The language associated with this is Nonviolent communication.
The giraffe and the jackal within us
The giraffe symbolizes compassion within Nonviolent communication. It is recognized as the land mammal with the largest heart, capable of finding soft leaves to eat among the sharp thorns of the acacia tree—a metaphor for identifying feelings and needs amidst prickly judgments and reproaches.
The jackal symbolizes reacting and acting from the head. When faced with uncomfortable feelings, we often react automatically by looking for someone to blame: we blame ourselves (the jackal turned inward) or we blame someone else (the jackal turned outward). In both cases, we miss the important information that feelings of anger, guilt, or shame are trying to give us: that there is a deeper need living within us that requires attention.
It is important to realize that the giraffe is not ‘good’ and the jackal is not ‘bad.’ We all have both giraffe and jackal reactions within us. Jackal behavior may have helped us survive difficult situations in the past, in the best way we knew how at the time. The giraffe within us can help the jackal connect with how it feels in that moment and translate its anger, criticism, or reproaches into the language of the heart: feelings and needs.
If you would like to read more about exactly how the Giraffe and the Jackal originated as metaphors, you can do so in this blog post.
“Street Giraffe”
By practicing thinking and speaking based on the model of Marshall Rosenberg, we can internalize the intent, principles, and core elements of Nonviolent communication. As a former jazz musician, I sometimes compare it to practicing musical notes, chords, and scales, which allows you to learn to play the piano fluently so that you can eventually improvise once you are on stage.
However, when you speak explicitly in ‘formal Giraffe language’ using Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests in the ‘real world’ all the time, most people will likely find that you sound strange or robotic. There is a risk that you will lose the connection with them, even though you wanted to connect so badly. Therefore, do not take the language and the model too literally; find the words, the ‘Street Giraffe’ slang, that suits you. Play and experiment with it to make life more beautiful, and with the intention of connection.
Want to read even more about the Giraffe and the Jackal? Justine Mol wrote the book ‘The Giraffe and the Jackal Within Us’. Or read this article on this site about listening with different ears.