Articles about Nonviolent communication
Emotional intelligence, Psychological safety, Nonviolent communication, Mindfulness, Deep democracy
In this blog, you will find articles about Nonviolent communication and related topics in the field of Emotional intelligence and Psychological safety. This page features the most recent articles. Click here for an overview of all posts. If you would like to stay informed, please sign up with your email address at the bottom of the page. Enjoy your reading!
Put a stop to polarisation in your team
The systematic provision of training in non-violent communication in combination with targeted inclusion training is a successful combination for countering polarisation in teams, as argues Vivian Acquah of Amplify DEI.Read more
Nonviolent resistance and Nonviolent communication: courageous parenting in connection
Nonviolent resistance and Connective authority are sometimes confused with Nonviolent communication. That is understandable, because both approaches are rooted in the same principles of nonviolence. Read here what they can mean for you as a parent, and what Equanimity has to offer on this subject.Read more
Psychological safety in teams with Nonviolent communication
In almost every team, there are differences of opinion and insight, doubts about a decision, different perspectives, or a feeling that a different or better solution is possible. Whether or not we speak up in the workplace says a lot about a team's culture. Do we feel that our input is welcome, or does it…Read more
Nonviolence as ‘the third way’
In this article, I explore the meaning of nonviolence as “the third way”. Inspired by the work of Marshall Rosenberg, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Walter Wink, we look at nonviolence as a way to actively stand up for justice without giving up on the humanity of the other.Read more
Empathy pitfalls: why well-intentioned reactions sometimes do not help at all
When you are angry, struggling with something, or have experienced something sad, you hope for an empathetic response from another person. Yet, not every reaction you receive, however well-intentioned, is actually helpful. Why is that?Read more
Conflict and the Art of Connecting
The ability to engage in and resolve conflicts is one of the fundamental pillars of high-performing teams. But how do you create a sustainable culture that embraces diversity and where conflicts can be seen as a path toward connection, innovation, and renewal?Read more
Being in control of your ears: the four ways of listening in Nonviolent Communication
In a sense, what we hear is a choice. By learning to recognize which ears we are wearing, space is created to consciously choose how to respond. Within Nonviolent Communication, different ways of listening are distinguished that you can practice.Read more
Shame as a key to connection
Usually, we view anger, guilt, and shame as feelings we would rather get rid of. We find them uncomfortable, sometimes embarrassing, and so we push them away—often before we are even aware that we have them. But what if these very feelings are the keys to connection?Read more
Balance in emotion regulation: about the Threat System, Drive System, and Soothing System
Professor Paul Gilbert emphasizes that a healthy balance between three emotion regulation systems is essential for our well-being. How can Nonviolent communication and Mindfulness contribute to this balance?Read more
“Why that word?” On ‘Nonviolence’ in Nonviolent Communication
"That word 'Nonviolent', I don't know, are we supposed to just be nice to each other all the time or something?". I frequently hear a variation of this sentence at the start of a training session within a company or organization. Apparently, the word triggers an allergic reaction in some people.Read more
Quasi-feelings and how they contribute to conflict and polarization
Expressing your feelings can be a great relief and have a connecting effect. Yet, you may also encounter resistance or irritation. Why is that? There is a high probability that you have expressed yourself in quasi-feelings.Read more
Gabor Maté on the myth of normal
Everyone longs for connection, and sometimes this longing is so great that we lose ourselves along the way. In his book 'The Myth of Normal,' physician and trauma expert Gabor Maté shows how this happens and how we can rediscover our authenticity. Nonviolent Communication can help us in this process.Read more
On the silent power of the super-rich and our own influence
If we want to build a world of equality and care for the planet, we cannot continue to think within the frameworks of the current system. It requires the courage to see the silent influence of the powerful as well as our own influence on the world.Read more
The Giraffe and the Jackal in Nonviolent communication
The Giraffe and the Jackal are used in Nonviolent Communication as metaphors for different ways of thinking and communicating. The Jackal represents thinking and communicating from a place of dominance and submission, while the Giraffe represents thinking and communicating from a place of compassion and self-awareness.Read more
Collaborative decision-making: Deep Democracy and Nonviolent Communication
While Nonviolent Communication focuses primarily on individual introspection and interpersonal dialogue, Deep Democracy focuses more on conversation and decision-making with groups. In this post, I will explain how Deep Democracy and Nonviolent Communication can complement each other.Read more
Why enjoyable work can make you sick
How is it that people with enjoyable or meaningful work 'collapse' substantially more often? Media Studies professor Mark Deuze wrote a book about this, explaining why employees in the creative sector deal disproportionately with stress, burnout, and depression.Read more
Dealing with anger and irritation
Anger is a primary fight response, where there is very little space between the trigger of your anger and your reaction to it. The angrier you become, the less inner space you have to maintain perspective and listen, and the harder it becomes to feel and consider what you actually want. The better we learn…Read more
The Art of Not Being Offended
When someone's anger is directed at us, our primary reaction is to defend ourselves by biting back and shouting in return, or we seek cover by making ourselves small and invisible. This actually never helps. If you shout back very hard, you enter a downward spiral of reproaches together, and it becomes increasingly difficult to…Read more
From Safe Space to Brave Space: Psychological Safety in the Creative Sector
There is significant focus on psychological safety in the creative sector. In the worlds of film, television, fashion, and the performing arts, abuse of power, sexism, and discrimination are increasingly being challenged as unacceptable. However, there is still a long way to go. What is required to achieve psychological safety?Read more
Sustainable connections in CPO Wij_land
For two years, I have enjoyed living in Wij_land, a CPO (Collective Private Commissioning) on Centrumeiland, IJburg in Amsterdam. I would like to share my experiences of living in Wij_land and what Nonviolent Communication can mean for a CPO.Read more
Peace is something you can learn
“Wake me up when it’s all over,” I read on a support pillar of the A1 along the canal. If only it were that simple. That we could wake up one day and all the challenges facing us were suddenly resolved: Corona, climate issues, polarization, war, and refugee flows. Unfortunately, the consequences of our way…Read more
Where do the Giraffe and Jackal puppets come from?
To illustrate different ways of communicating, Nonviolent communication uses the Giraffe and the Jackal as symbols. But where did Marshall Rosenberg's silly puppets actually come from?Read more
Insight Dialogue: meditating in interaction
Insight Dialogue is a form of Vipassana meditation, but practiced in interaction with others. The method was developed by the American Gregory Kramer. Instead of only sitting in silence, Insight Dialogue involves sharing your experiences with others while meditating. You practice, as it were, staying in touch with yourself while being in contact with another…Read more
I belong to myself and therefore to everyone
‘Belonging’ has always been a difficult subject for me. For a long time, I considered myself an outsider wherever and with whomever I was. But as I got older, something strange happened. Whenever I encountered people from the past, they invariably spoke about me and themselves in terms of ‘us’ and ‘we.’ To my astonishment,…Read more
De Vrijman: Connection in the Neighborhood
De Vrijman is a meeting place for reflection, connection, and inspiration by and for residents of IJburg in Amsterdam. We offer various activities such as Yoga, Tai Chi, and breathwork classes, and I personally provide the Mindfulness and Nonviolent Communication training from Equanimity.Read more
Yuval Noah Harari and the emergence of dominance systems
In his book “Sapiens,” Yuval Noah Harari describes the development of human civilization. He shows how the emergence of societies is always accompanied by a belief in a dominant 'fictional' truth in which certain people are portrayed as more important than others. Harari's concept of the 'imaginary order' is comparable to the concept of 'dominance…Read more
About Marshall Rosenberg
The American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg (1934 – 2015) is the creator of the process of Nonviolent Communication. Violence, in Rosenberg's definition, is quite broad. It can be directed toward others, but also toward oneself. It can be verbal or physical, but ignoring someone or thinking negatively about oneself are also forms of violence. According to…Read more
Practicing with feelings cards and needs cards
Feelings cards and needs cards are frequently used in Equanimity's Nonviolent Communication training sessions and Emotional Intelligence workshops. In this blog post, you can read more about why such cards are such a useful tool, and you will find a link to various providers of similar card sets.Read more
The difference between shame and guilt
Although you likely experience shame and guilt from time to time, there is a high probability that you cannot easily put into words exactly how these emotions feel. This is not surprising, as we prefer not to feel shame and guilt, and we certainly prefer not to talk about them. American researcher Brené Brown is…Read more
What does the zebrafish have to do with the human stress system?
In many articles and blogs about emotional intelligence, stress and human emotions are discussed based on how our brains function. However, our brain is only one part of the stress-regulating system in our body.Read more
You have only one brain
In the 1960s, American neurobiologist Paul MacLean launched the theory of 'The Triune Brain.' According to this still very popular theory, our brain consists of three more or less separate 'stacked' brains. However, neuroscientists have known for many years that the theory is incorrect because it misrepresents the evolutionary history of our brain and is…Read more
“Just act normal!” and more about domination systems
The way we think about ourselves and each other is influenced by what we consider 'normal'. 'Normal' means 'according to the norm', and we derive this norm by looking at one another. We consider 'normal' to be what most people do, and 'abnormal' is anything that deviates from that in one way or another. Abnormal…Read more
A matter of mental hygiene
Most people are aware that their physical health is largely determined by their lifestyle. If you exercise sufficiently, do not smoke, are moderate with alcohol, eat healthily, and get enough sleep, you generally live longer and with significantly fewer unpleasant illnesses and ailments. It is less well known that the same applies to your mental…Read more
Boris Dynamite
Anger is something I have struggled with my entire life. As a child, my parents jokingly nicknamed me 'Boris Gunpowder' because I could become so incredibly angry. Anger has become something I feel ashamed of and guilty about.Read more
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